What Your Soul Knows

"What your Soul knows , it can heal" When your soul knows the "WHY" behind your question, then we are able to let it go and move forward. This maybe difficult to understand so let me give you my experience.
I have had the wonderful blessing and honor of giving birth to an amazing, creative, passionate boy thirth two years ago. I appreciate this and cherish everything we have had together.
Yet, I have always wanted that family.... The father-mother-children. I wanted the experience of creating something together, nurturing , feeding, teaching, loving, learning, growing, bonding, and all the beautiful wonders that can grow through this experience. The deep love that I believe can only be felt as parents. I desired to have that with a partner and thought, even felt, this was to be my life path.
When I finally found my life partner, for different reasons, we lost two pregnancies. I seemed to have lost so much more though. I lost my faith in the process of life. My ability to trust my own intuition, my body, that prayers are answered, and love towards, even for myself.
Even though my head has tried to justify and explain this, my heart, my soul had been unable to accept what I was mentally saying.
So behind closed doors and deep within myself I cried, I criticized, I blamed God, myself, my inability to create a new life. The life a had dreamed and desired. I tried herbs, prayer, Reiki, and anything else that said it could help. Yet, here is what I didn't do. I didn't ask my heart, my soul, why? I hadn't even thought of coming from inside out, from that angle, until today.
Here is what I received. My heart says, " You know the greatest pains you have ever felt in this life time has been through the mothers heart. You said you didn't, you couldn't, and you wouldn't ever go through this kind of pain again. So I am protecting you".
My soul says, " I want you to share your gifts and talents with many. I want to have you mobile so your growth can be deep and diverse. You have so much love, compassion, and empathy. Your love and light is needed in the world to inspire, encourage, and radiate in ways that will require your full self. You have been for others your entire life and now you get to know yourself. Freedom, just enjoy it."
Wow, that seems to be freeing. It frees me from the "what did I do wrong, not do, undeserving, and wrong with me?" How am I going to be okay with not creating, nurturing, growing, feeding, and loving that deeply, together as one with my husband?"
When the Soul knows, it can heal. I am seeing that the life and love, adventures, moves, personal lessons, and companionship has been like our baby in a way. Thank goodness Travis and I made it through the "terrible two's".
I encourage you to take the time, ask from a heart and soul space what it wants you to know about a situation or challenge. Then listen, not with your ears but within. Maybe, just maybe "What your Soul knows, it can let go".
Hugs and  Chocolates,

Grace2Gratitude